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I thought you said it happened on the kitchen tap too, so it surely is the boiler?
Obvious question but you're not using the dishwasher/washing machine etc at the same time are you?
Also is your boiler on eco mode? On ours, all that does is prevent the boiler from doing it's normal thing of keeping a little bit of hot water ready to go as soon as you turn on the taps. Doesn't seem to make much difference to energy use and means you have to wait longer before the shower temperature steadies out.
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Our shower has the same symptoms as yours. I am waiting for an engineer to service it in the next couple of weeks. My NOTION is that when a tap is turned on hot water fills the pipes. When the shower is turned on that hot water comes out. Behind the hot water is cooler was which has cooled in the pipes. As it comes out the shower it is followed by hot water again from the boiler. That’s my theory - hope it makes some sense.
You could try the immediate hot water function on the boiler - that could help. My engineer said it is a costly option so I have never used it. Our gas bill is currently £382 per month and I’m struggling with that!!
Ok, plumber says absolutely nothing wrong with the boiler, although he can’t explain why the shower hose jumps around with (assumption) pressure fluctuations.
His recommendation is to set the water temperature to a comfortable showering temperature and not add any cold water at the mixer tap.