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@Hefty
Joshing aside, I massively feel you here. It’s not your mental health at all, it’s 100% normal to be cross when you don’t feel considered and respected.
It took us a long time and many teary chats to get to our compromise, but we did. I reckon your 80/20 is a good aim. We’re probably 70/30 now, I’ve managed to really not mind doing the 30% that doesn’t bother her and she appreciates that.
Don’t watch Marriage Story, it starts with a messy kitchen and ends badly.