How do I bathroom / kitchen / extension? etc.

Cheers for the input. Yeah have been very open from the start, sent the first informal email about it a month or so ago.
Getting your own surveyor feels like a dick move as your default imo.

What works are needed that involve the party wall act?

For anything more than some flashing details, I'd always recommend the adjoining owner appoints their own surveyor. I know party wall surveyors are supposed to be impartial and act for the wall but in reality this isn't often the case.

Really? Feels overkill to me... they will be putting steels in to support a new floor, and I personally trust professionals.

Think about it from her point of view. She’s nervous. She’s going to find it stressful having a load of banging and crashing and vans parked everywhere and all that. There will probably be a few cracks in her house where your builders bosh in the steels. Your new dormer will look down on to her garden more than before. Etc etc. None of this is fun for her at all. She’s about to have 6 months of light suffering she doesn’t want.

Calling someone a fucking loon for being nervous and deciding to exercise her basic legal right seems a bit uncool to me.

Make a cake, take it round, give her a cuddle.

Yeah I'm prob not going to bake cake for someone who is going to have cost us 5K or more in total.

A loft only takes 6 weeks too, not 6 months.

Just had a really nice and open sit down with our other neighbours, they are also nervous, we discussed what about and how we could alleviate those nerves (and their concerns), as adults do.

Her behaviour is what makes her a loon, not her decisions.

Are fruitcake and loon adequate words to use for people that might have mental health issues?

I dont know if she actually does, but let me know what words work for you.

It's very unfortunate but if she is carrying the weight of mental health issues then no amount of baking cakes or being nice to her will matter.most people sign the agreement because it's a quid pro quo for when they get work done. The old boy next to me signed it without an issue, he used to be a builder and I think In a weird way has enjoyed the building work. He's been out there chatting to the lads and perhaps telling his war stories.

I'm going to drop him off a bottle of champagne at Xmas as a thank you for not being a dick head and being very patient.

Chris if you want me to give you the empty bottle so you can piss in it then lob it into your neighbours garden, then let me know.

Yeah, you're right, I don't know if she does genuinely have issues but I'm being flippant here and expressing my frustration with the whole situation, I am treating her with the utmost respect and being as mindful as possible of her mental health if she genuinely has issues in real life.

I understand everyone is entitled to do what they are legally entitled to do, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, especially when it causes me a fair wack of stress (which I already have plenty of) and money, to the extent we literally can't afford any flooring for the loft (not massive tears as it can be done at a later date, but would be nice to be able to afford to have it finished, which we won't do).

@princeperch all good thanks, I have a freezer full of sausages to hammer into said garden.

I am a bit touchy on that subject as I have someone in the family who probably is THE example of neighbour from hell. He has a mental condition that is untreatable, and its not fun.

Sorry to hear that and sorry for being flippant with phrases, I should know better but when frustrated, I forget I am not talking to "the lads".

I think what's has been missed is that you've used some language but it has been missed that this is costing you 5k extra. Id be more raging than you if it was me personally

£5k? Shit. I was thinking it’d be a grand or something. Do the sausage thing.

Yeah... overall...

£1250 x 2 when we had the extension done.
£1500 to move a fence (which was wrong tbf, but had no issues with it for a year, so didn't count this originally)
£1250 x 2 for the loft.

I get it, she's within her rights, but I think being upfront and communicating can save a lot of stress and hassle.

She also tried to stop our other neighbours loft, and cost them the same.

Thing is, she's actually a really lovely person apart from this, who I actually really respect in some ways (reg things she has done in other aspects of life).

These are just associated costs you need to suck up as part of your works, why should your neighbour forgo their rights/protection to save you a few quid?

They are the maximum costs possible. You can incur no costs at all, but I wouldn't recommend that or expect that as no one would have any protection.
And also communication, I feel I may have mentioned that more than once?

She also tried to stop our other neighbours loft, and cost them the same

She's probably a bit bored of living next to building sites, then, after two projects from you and one from her other neighbour.

Why x2? You mean your surveyor and theirs?

I think the minimum to expect (and the minimum to protect yourself) is a joint surveyor.

If I did it again I'd view any savings from the max as a benefit rather than any extra from the minimum as costs

She might well be, but illustrating her disapproval by costing Chris thousands seems punitive and petty.

I had a frank conversation with our neighbours before my work. I acknowledged it wasn't ideal for them and there would be some noise, but I assured them that when it was done it was done and I had nothing else planned. I think they appreciated me levelling with them together with acknowledging that what I was doing would impact on them.

A loft only takes 6 weeks too, not 6 months.

Hollow laugh.

FWIW our neighbour said Yes on the doorstep without even reading the letter we wrote, then turned around a few weeks later and wanted to go down the surveyor route. He'd been spooked by the buildings equivalent of ambulance chasers who watch for the planning applications then contact the neighbours and convince them to appoint them.

My loft finished last week took almost exactly 6 weeks start to finish.

Out of interest if they signed the agreement then decided to change their mind, what would you do? It's binding at the point of it being signed isn't it unless they can prove you fibbed when you presented it to them

The equivalent in aluminium costs £10k inc Vat. So yeah the steel is pricey.

This is nuts.

Different products, clearly, as we have a new Euro-look house but as a comparison we got an 1100x2300 Internorm front door last year, triple glazed panel, ali/timber, passiv spec, any RAL colour and it was a touch over a quarter of that price.

Rear steels now in. Just the living room window ones to go in now.

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Our drive guy has offered us -10% for cash. Parking (badumtish) the moral issues, does paying cash open you up for liability / put you at risk?