I hate

I've taken to waiting 5 minutes from the 'Hi' message and responding with

'Good chat'

100%. If this was family fortunes you’ve got the top answer.

Bonus points for 'Hi..........

....... hope you're good?'

Well I sense that in a few minutes I'll be less so, but how can I help Susan?

..and when someone not only lazily puts 'Kind Regards' in their e-mail auto sig but also signs off their message.

Regards

Kind Regards

Geoff

nohello.com

Corporate guidelines insist on a "Hope all is well" type opener.

Type the question first, then cut it to the clipboard. Say 'Hi' or whatever, and when your colleague responds paste and send it immediately.

Oh perfect 👌

What’s your fav way? (DMed)

It’s the lowest form of human interaction.

Visit a crypto investment group on Telegram and you'll think differently.

I had a spell at work where I was frantically working to avert a disaster with a colleague as we tried to keep a wheezing system going for just one more month.

He would chat message me with “hello mate” then spill his guts about in what circle of hell we were residing.

Now from time to time I get the “hello mate” at 7am followed by nothing.

It’s going to kill me, it brings electric chair levels of anxiety.

Oh totally been there mate, I feel you

Hello mate

Hello mate

Fucking hell it triggers me here! :)

Bricks and mortar businesses that never answer the phone. I get that people can be busy sometimes, but when 10+ calls over a 3 day period go unanswered, it gets irritating. Sometimes a 5 minute conversation can replace 5 or 6 back and forward emails.

Customers are the worst though.

Worse is people saying 'Hi' on Teams and leaving it there....

Ah, I see you wish to play the long game? I can wait.....

Haha, love this. Changed my settings so people can't see when I've read a message, then respond with 'hiya' at 4:59pm before logging off for the day. 😆🖕

Americans using the term 'on accident' instead of 'by accident'. Differences between British and American English don't usually bother me but this annoys me to an insanely irrational level.

I didn't even realise Americans used the phrase like that until the podcast explosion happened and now I seem to hear it all the bloody time.

Niche pronounced as nitch. Just horrid.

Customers trying to call 5 times in one hour instead of sending an email with a question and a pic. Or read the ffn manual.

Americans mangling French in general

crussant for breakfast?

I thought a crussant was French for a Chelsea Bun, no?

Bacon egg and sausage crussant sandwich more likely

Fuck yes please, brown sauce on mine