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Somehow we have to discourage people in wealthy countries from deciding to have that third child
You'd have a much bigger effect on population stability by lifting millions in developing countries out of poverty so they had the education and power to choose the size of their families. Ragging on people with three kids in Hither Green might be easier but it's less effective.
Somehow we have to discourage people in wealthy countries from deciding to have that third child. Economic disincentives don't work and are regressive, so how else do you propose to achieve it without cultural norms?