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  • Nah the clever Portuguese nuns specked flexible pastry so you can shove an entire one into your mouth without getting egg goop all over your lap. The shortcrust ones just mean crumbs and egg goop everywhere. Unless you have a Pythonesque jaw

  • I have a fucked jaw at the moment, so let's add "wisdom teeth" to the I hate pile.

    For the record the shortcrust ones are pretty easy to jam in whole. Or is it jam in hole?

  • The whole complete lockjaw and constant agony thing or have you had them out and now have a raw bloody socket?

    I’ll have to bow to your superior willpower in terms of custard tarts, but I’m not ruling out you being part basking shark.

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