I hate

What the fuck is fast track security? The entire concept relies on the fact that your normal systems are so slow and shit that it's worth paying extra to bypass them, otherwise what's the point?

Weaponised incompetence

Aretha Franklin's backing singers, who, despite being told multiple times that it is in his kiss, keep questioning it.

You should try it. Once you sail past all the plebs off to Magaluf you’ll never go back.

Shoelaces that come undone, while I’m sat at my desk
What are they doing down there?

The entire concept relies on the fact that your normal systems are so slow and shit that it's worth paying extra to bypass them, otherwise what's the point?

The BA ones at T5 are basically there for passengers who don't want to see or hear other passengers and are happy to pay £3k+ for the privilege.

There is a 50% chance you tie your laces the wrong way. It took me ages to discover this. There are numerous bow nots. Turns out the first cross of the laces and then the knot were in conflict and left the knot weak and liable to undo itself.

This sounds like bullshit but is actually a thing.

It's basically Granny knot vs reef knot. Changed my life, finding that one out.

Edit: just remembered it was this Ted Talk that wised me up to it.

This forum, eh?
Will report back later from the field test now in progress

You’ll never tie a double knot again.

Also I’d say there’s a more than 50% chance you’re tying laces wrong. It’s a less intuitive way of tying them and takes a little while for it to feel natural.

I just checked
They’re still done up
I think they know I’m watching them though

Later on I had to discover that leather laces (eg moccasins etc) need a different bow knot.

How the fuck can these things be so complicated and not taught correctly.

if they're not tied correctly of course they wont be taut.

Let’s knot start a sole-destroying pun-fest please.

What are they doing down there?

Untying your shoelaces. If anyone asks.

Yup. Game changer, especially the double back through the same loop

Having clearly spent the last fifty years making poor life choices my shoelacing is no longer one of them
I cannot thank you all enough

Edit. And can someone arrange to have the fucking wind machine turned off
What a slog the last few days have been

Apt username really.

Now go forth and spread the good word

Aglet-lujah!

Oh very good. I wonder how long the puns will… last.

More mobile woes from hols. My wife appears to misunderstand the concept of mobile phones - the part where you don’t have to shout over an ocean and continent to speak to someone. I pointed it out, that didn’t go well!!!! That’s my largest understatement on this forum ever.
My only redemption was this - which ‘lightened’ the mood - but only slightly.

https://youtu.be/30DcHyi-hZE

https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm is the go to page for tying shoelaces.

It's also an amazing site for info on lacing and knots for shoes. #amaze

(I think I was ~35 when I realised I'd been tying my shoelaces wrong all these years...)

go to page for tying shoelaces.

Oh, indeed. The various lock lacing techniques are great and I use the ladder-lacing technique on hiking boots and leather cycling shoes.

When your wife borrows your bike to go to work and her colleague sends you a photo of it left totally unlocked.

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I experienced quite a pang of jealousy at the thought of being the same frame size as my wife when I read your post! Imagine being able to share bikes!