I hate

I know it's the wrong thread, but I love how people who've never been to Glastonbury have such strong views on it.

Whoppers.

Sounds to me like half you lot could do with going to Glastonbury.

what a mistake it would have been if you had moved out of London

By this rationale you have to go to Skegness before you can take a view on whether it is a good idea to go there. Whopper logic.

😂

I’ve been to Skegness, it’s alright. I’ve not been to Glastonbury, it’s alright. I think both were better pre fencing and with lots of cheap whizz.

Glastonbury now appears to be a bit of a theme park for bellends. Bangface. Now that’s where it’s at.

I went for a headliner: Stone Roses. They didn't play. Didn't mind because Pulp.

That's the one and only time I went to Glastonbury. Had a great time, would have gone the next year but it wasn't on, didn't get off my arse to get tickets the year after, and by the year after that it was a different beast and not so appealing.

I'm happy with one and done.

I would surprised if anyone went to Glastonbury and found there was nothing that appealed to them musically or culturally among the 3,000 acts each year.

Bangface looks legitimately harrowing. I think I could probably deal with taking a fistful of weapons grade pingers and watching donk remixes of the Family Guy theme tune for a single day but a full festival might be a bit much.
Still, beats watching Paul McCartney with a load of Guardian mums I suppose.

Have you got a link to that remix please bro?

Festivals do not appeal to me in the least.

Closest I got was flipping 2 weekend tickets to V Festival after getting pre-sale tickets.
I did see Blur live in Hyde park, which was a day festival of sorts.
I don't think I like live music very much.

and dancing. I hate dancing.

Where could a friend find these guardian mums?

You leave Macca alone.

Yeah, let it be

Sounds like Glastonbury is the only option these days I’m afraid https://www.theguardian.com/help/insideguardian/2020/jul/01/guardian-soulmates-has-come-to-an-end

I wish Macca would leave it alone.

Timewasting eBayers who try to haggle after the auction's finished.

One of the local newspapers did a survey looking at who goes to Glastonbury.

Average age was 39, but the most represented group was 21 to 25 years olds (18%) followed by 40 to 50 year olds (17.5%).

No, I don't know why they are using non standardised age brackets either.

What were the age brackets?
17 - 20? 6th form / uni
21 - 25? new at work
26 - 29? caners
30 - 39 1st manager role
etc etc?

Took the words right out of my mouth.
I’m very much a solo tent with a sounds-of-nature, cliff-top view kind of guy.

Look, if the toilet isn't plumbed into the mains (or at least a septic tank), I'm out.

So much this. People saying "Glastonbury is full of middlemanager unimaginative whoppers" are basically outing themselves as the same. Sure, it's far more main-stream than it was 20 years ago and sure in places it will feel like Clapham high street. But, you never need to go far before you end up in some weird subculture dive space listening to Ukranian folk music/appalachian mountain tunes/drag electro karaoke and dancing with people you would not meet in Clapham drinking/ingesting things far more interesting than peroni. Sure, it's not for everyone and I'm sure you could have a rather cliched experience there if you stayed on the main stages and big bars, but to denounce the whole thing as boring music for foxton employees is missing the mark by a long way I'm afraid....

I feel like all the festivals I go to are what you just described minus the Clapham Peroni Foxton heads

More of the weird subculture stuff, less stormzy flying the union jack