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If you want a few acres of wood there are places flogging it, eg https://www.woodlands.co.uk/
3 acres of lumpy ground next to the A20 is apparently 50k. Why would you want to listen to traffic?
Thanks golf club thread for directing me here. I also had the woodland idea, for 2.5 reasons:
The problem is people don't seem to bother to sell small cheap bits of land probably because it's not worth the effort - it's all commercial entities and whatnot. Decided if I wanted to do it my best bet would be to find a local farmer and ask them to sell me a tiny plot directly. Basically gave up on it though