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they know I dread going down the formal route!
They will too. Most domestic builders aren't big operations and time / effort that they spend dealing with such stuff can impact their bottom line.
But then I don't think they have dealt with this well.
Again you're likely dealing with a small company or sole trader so their capacity for customer service, outside of being nice when on site, is usually pretty limited.
Initially, they were reluctant to do take this seriously, but when I mentioned getting the association to decide for us, they changed their tune. They know I'd rather sort it informally and I think they know I dread going down the formal route!
I could see that being a problem they have to deal with, I do understand that and I have sympathy for them. They didn't set out to cause me problems. But then I don't think they have dealt with this well.