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Have you told the contractor that you would like to sort it informally but are willing to look at other options?
Initially, they were reluctant to do take this seriously, but when I mentioned getting the association to decide for us, they changed their tune. They know I'd rather sort it informally and I think they know I dread going down the formal route!
It may sound a bit odd but customers deliberately finding fault to try and avoid paying or claw back money is a fairly common occurrence. I'm not implying that this is the case here but some contractors assume that this is what's happening every time they have to deal with a situation like yours.
I could see that being a problem they have to deal with, I do understand that and I have sympathy for them. They didn't set out to cause me problems. But then I don't think they have dealt with this well.
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they know I dread going down the formal route!
They will too. Most domestic builders aren't big operations and time / effort that they spend dealing with such stuff can impact their bottom line.
But then I don't think they have dealt with this well.
Again you're likely dealing with a small company or sole trader so their capacity for customer service, outside of being nice when on site, is usually pretty limited.
It sounds like you're covered in terms of being able to get it sorted. There are other options too, for example the small claims court has its own track for disputes around building but is also protected and agonising.
Have you told the contractor that you would like to sort it informally but are willing to look at other options? It may sound a bit odd but customers deliberately finding fault to try and avoid paying or claw back money is a fairly common occurrence. I'm not implying that this is the case here but some contractors assume that this is what's happening every time they have to deal with a situation like yours.