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@DethBeard
You used to be able to jailbreak kindles.
I did it to my old 3g, mainly for custom screensavers.
I haven't bothered with my G1 paperwhite as it has no ads.
Did the Kindle Fire with firebox and made it less bloated.
I am sure there are guides to crack the newer paperwhites (if you don't mind a little tinkering)
Edit: just re-read "luddite" so maybe not