If cycling disciplines were political parties, which would be which?

Are roadies Tories?
Who are the monster raving loony party of cycling? Unicyclists?
Which way (politically) does cyclo-cross lean?
Is Jacob Rees-Mogg a penny farthing?

Etc..... Discuss.

Jacob Rees-Mogg is a Pashley.

Bromptons are tory, sorry.

Boris Johnson presumably is that bike you find in a skip, which you then tart up with a bit of gold spray paint and some stickers. Superficially looks cool but you know will fail the moment you actually have to ride it.

Wtf are Recumbents?

Triathlon is Lawrence Fox's party.

Brakeless (on public roads) and delivery boy e berks are Tories

Recumbents are trad Liberal party before they joined SDP?

Recumbents are trad Liberal party before they joined SDP?

ha ! was going to say LibDems

Time trialling is lib dems nah?

Tories = Sportive riders. They want to give the impression of being slick, highly efficient racers, wowing everyone with their prowess. Instead, they're a bunch of talentless choppers, spaffing money everywhere but where it's really needed, flailing around incompetently, and leaving chaos in their wake.

Time trialing is the communist party. Quietly, in the dark, hoping no one will notice

UKIP don’t believe in all that fancy European cycling nonsense. They’d rather we all walked, barefoot, on broken glass just so they can proclaim sovereignty whilst we all bleed to death. Actually, that’s the Tories.

The Labour Party ?
https://youtu.be/MFzDaBzBlL0

UKIP is a diesel car parked forever, engine idling, outside a nursery school.

Red wall tories are sucking the tailpipe obv.

Moultons are Lords of any party

On the pavement

Excellent point about Time Trialling.

Hardly seems like an obvious discipline for communists though. Given the focus on the individual. Maybe team time Trialling?

Entrants to gravel events = people who forget to vote on election day

Audax = Official Monster Raving Loony Party

Time Trialling

This is the most libertarian/neo-liberal discipline based on 'individual contribution'

Thatcher was a time trialist.

Zwift = Tea party movement

Sufferfest = breitbart

Actually need to amend:

Audax = Lib Dems

Fringe, avid supporters, some power (white middle class), was popular once but now waning, struggling to find place in the modern world

Mountain biking is definitely right wing. Expensive countryside pursuit.

BMX left wing. Urban. Cheap.

I love them both though.

Sheldon Corbyn.

Mountain biking is definitely right wing.

If that were true, I'd expect to see more Range Rovers and fewer VW Transporters in Peaslake carpark