I hate

That's something I'd never thought about with the medium, but very true. Sorry.

What are these? Just googled and it gave me world maps in rainbow colours...

Not your fault, you didn't make the image 🙂

Here's a reasonably accurate simulation of what it looks like to me (I can see a bit more contrast than this but it's not far off) - bit of red, bit of blue, mostly a swathe of orangey yellow

@hoefla colourmap as in a map of colour to value, not a cartographic map. Although in this case it's both. Here's a short article but the gist is they are illegible in black and white, they hide details due to being inherently "uneven" and they are illegible to colourblind people https://theconversation.com/how-rainbow-colour-maps-can-distort-data-and-be-misleading-167159

1 Attachment

Ah I didn't realise it was a response to the scone map, that should've been obvious.

People, always typically work people, who shorten my name.....

People who, on hearing my Surname, think they are being incredibly inventive and original calling me Dibble.
My sister was nicknamed Dibble, my Dad was nicknamed Dibble, my Grandfather was nicknamed Dibble.
It’s been used since at least 1916 you are not the first to think of it.
(Obviously I don’t actually mind being called it)
Love Dibble

Is your surname Officer?

It's Hugh-Pugh-Barney-Mcgrew-Cuthbert-Grubb

Thought about that, but couldn't be arsed to type em all out.

Ah man, I think unless you tell people it’s fair game. Especially if your name has more than two syllables.

Even my wife occasionally calls me ‘Al’.

The success of my marriage is largely due to me keeping stuff like ‘I hate being called Al’ to myself.
Burying it deep down in the pit of my stomach until it becomes a dense, angry ball of resentment. Eventually it will become so dense, it will form an event horizon which stranded star ships will be discovered near. On one of those ships, my wife (long be-widowed and now an intergalactic explorer) will encounter a monstrous, evil entity.
After it has devoured the rest of her crew, she will finally manage to escape this foul beast to the safety of her own ship. As the airlock shuts, she will hear a blood-curdling cry…. ‘My fucking name is Alex!’.

You’ve got Paul Simon to blame for that.

Paul Simon can shove his gumboots up his diamond-encrusted arse.

Are you an Alexander?!

I feel like I'm being told off if people use my full name.

I’m just an Alex, actually. My parents liked Alex but hated Alexander 🤷‍♂️

Related (and to be fair, something that happens rarely now that everything is on google); people who ask you for directions and when you answer them willingly, accurately and with a helpful, encouraging tone of voice give you a look as if you are lying and sending them to a blind alley where they will be mugged and wake up with a few less vital organs.

Also related; people who proffer you their phone, Google maps pointing exactly where they are, asking you for directions to the place they're looking for, if they only looked up from their phone for two seconds to see they're pretty much standing next to it.

When my partner "helpfully" walks the dog but then returns after 5 minutes saying "he didn't want to do a poo" and immediately goes out somewhere because she left it until the last minute only for him to be barking incessantly at me 5 minutes later when I'm in the middle of the thing that prompted her to try and help in the first place because he urgently needs to go out again.

despite my explanation that sometimes he needs more than 5 minutes to get the cogs whirring in the morning because he doesn't have the luxury of a cup of coffee to get things moving she still expects him to fire it like a projectile from his arse the second his paws touch grass. It's worse when she does his night time walk and he hasn't done one that day because I know I'll be dragged out of bed at 2am instead by him panicking because there's what seems to be a turtle trying to exit his sphincter that he didn't know was up there but "you need to walk him until he goes or I won't get any sleep tonight" must come out in an alien language she doesn't understand.

the park is only 10 houses away so it's not the end of the world during the day but if you're going to do something to be helpful. it's nice if it's actually helpful.

calls me ‘Al’.

One of my old bosses used to do that and more so after I told him I didn't like it.

I solved it with a combination of either:

• just ignoring him when he used the shortened version (which was really annoying for him in the work situation [a commerical kitchen] and things were very time sensitive)
  
• or calling him 'Jay' which I found out annoyed him (his name was 'Justin') far more than 'Al' annoyed me
  
  

I've all but dropped the 'ander' bit from the end of my name, annoyingly Covid has caused a few problems with this as my birth certificate and NHS records are all 'Alexander' but my passport/driving-license/bank/etc is all 'Alex'. Many automated systems just see 'Alexander' not being the same as 'Alex' as they do 'David' not being the same as 'Robert', and if the first names don't match then you have to go through the manual process.

There are a very limited number of people who I tolerate calling me 'Al'.

Doctor's surgeries booking systems, it's like they have made the barrier to access as high as possible so you just give up. There is a 2.30min automated message on why you shouldnt be calling or why you should call someone else. At the end of that it will often tell you the lines are busy and to try again later and hangs up. It appears their software can hold a max of 50 people in a queue which is fare enough and that is what causes it to hang up. If you are lucky, like I was on my fourth attempt to be caller 50, you can press 0 and they will call you back. Obviously they call back after 90minutes to tell you all appointments for the day are gone, try again tomorrow or try online, online appears to never have appointments for anything other than clinics like flu jabs. System is broken, think I only need a 2 minute phone call with a GP to get a referral.

That Rapha caps seem to have several sizes even though they're meant to be one size fits all, yeah, nah.

Some of them are comically small.

Don't get me wrong I like the luft look but I'd like to wear it under a helmet too.

About a month ago, I needed an urgent GPappointment - it took 5 days to get a phone appointment.

Then I went on to the 2WW (two week wait) referral pathway. The fuck sort of distopian Kafkaesque bullshit booking system going on there. Snail mail letters pointing to broken web pages pointing to answerless phone lines pointing to no appointments.

1 and bit months later, and I finally get the all clear though, and for free, so swings and roundabouts.

Agreed. Here it is dial on the 8am dot else no chance. It used to be walk in and wait which worked much better.

May not work for your GP's system, but try listening once to work out which option you'll need to press, then call again and select the appropriate option as soon as the recorded message starts. Seems to work with mine.

Also (just to keep the thread on track), SUVs. And dogs.

People who get on a near empty double decker bus then go and sit right next to the only passenger already on it.