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Airhead
DethBeard
Thanks for your input, I realise it is impossible to diagnose over the internet, I was more venting.
RAC reckons starter motor, we tried bumping it, but it's pretty flat round here and the bike is ludicrously heavy.
Booked in for the local garage for next week (earliest it can be taken in) and recovery from my house to the shop.
Just need to move it from my work to home. About a mile or so.
May be able to bump it on the way...