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tyeness
I have spoken with a mapper (MSL) but frankly they really seem not to want to have anything to do with it, which when your usual day of work is made up of twin-turbo V8's I suppose is understandable.
I think that the changes required to make it fast would be (even for me) ridiculous - literally a new and different engine, likely the one from the S400D, and that would probably require the transmission from said car to go with it as it's got 700Nm of torque.
Therefore I think I'm better off keeping the van as-is, trading it for an EV version in a few years, and getting my jollies with something else that's a little more "pop to the shops" than the 996.