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It's not clear what grounds could be given for not admitting Ukraine to NATO. They're a sovereign nation and could make the request to be admitted. Saying "we won't admit you because it will annoy Putin" is hardly a respectable response.
This whole thing just utterly stinks, which is why I think Gavin Williamson was right to tell the Russian government to effectively fuck off. We know they lie, which is why we judge them by their actions. Rolling your tanks up to a neighbours border and then both-sidesing the subsequent discussions is just bullshit. NATO existed to prevent expansion of the USSR into Europe. If Putin has to hold the threat of invasion over Ukraine then he's admitting that he can't deal fairly with them as a free sovereign state.
I’m not sure there is much that can or should be done by NATO to deter Russia militarily, but we definitely shouldn’t just hand Putin what he wants - he’ll only be back for more, all across Eastern Europe. I don’t think Ukraine should be admitted to NATO, but that definitely shouldn’t be offered in appeasement just now.
Invasion isn’t a good outcome for Putin either. The best outcome all round is that he deescalates, and persuades himself that having held everyone’s attention for a few weeks is enough of a win.