Football

It still has its use as a corrective force. Another Carroll scene: his last great moment, the eight-minute hat-trick against Arsenal in 2016, when Carroll seemed to overwhelm a decadent late-Wenger defence like a mountain landslip, like an angry buffalo hurled from a hotel balcony, like 1500 tons of refrigerated corned beef dumped into the waves by a stricken supertanker, like nemesis, the revenge of nature; or like a competent centre-forward taking advantage of slack marking on crosses to the back post.