• many years ago, driving in france, I braked too hard on some loose gravel on freshly laid tarmac, spun off the road and hit a tree. Car (french registered Citroen I had borrowed off a friend) was written off, I was going about 40kph at the time of the crash.

    Gendarmerie turn up and ask me lots of questions, i can hardly speak any french, all fairly relaxed and a lot of nodding and talk of gravillons.

    After we have been hanging around for about an hour waiting for a tow truck, the officers make to leave and then at the last minute, almost like they had forgotten, get me to do a breath test. It was only later that I realised, due to the time of day, they had assumed I would have had a glass or two of wine with lunch and were giving me the best chance of passing the test.

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