I hate

I paint my balls with the brush of indifference.

What in the holy fucking hell is this???
How will this help me answer phones?
I swear to god, prolly failed the assessment but this stupid thing has got right under my skin
Rest of it was kinda dumb too, its just reactions. Im not applying to be a jet pilot....

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I have just returned from a trip to Sheffield.

Consequently there are two and a bit things I'm hating on right now:

1. People who drive in the middle lane, completely oblivious to what's going on around them. Pull over you twats, then go fuck yourselves.

2. Corpulent, track-suited bell-ends that order Frappucino's from coffee shops on the motorway. Thanks a million twat head, I'll just wait around for half and hour while the 'barista' tries to figure out how to make that shit. Next time, order an espresso, then go fuck yourselves.

3. McDonalds, for not serving mayo with fries:

'Can I have some mayonnaise with my fries please?'

'We don't do mayonnaise sir'

'Really? What's this white shit on my McChicken Legend then, Spunk?'

Go fuck yourselves.

Sorry about that, it was a stressful drive.

Enjoyed your ire ✊

Get your coffee from Le McDo and chill out ;).

On the bright side, you’re not in Sheffield any more.

Really? What's this white shit on my McChicken Legend then, Spunk?'

That's a risky question to ask

On the bright side, you’re not in Sheffield any more.

This kind of shit. Sheffield is great.

It is a pretty good place.

Mosquito bites on my nob. Although it does double in size.

Pish. Wasps are more effective.

Can we slag off Barlborough and Chesterfield though? Can’t say I have had great experiences there

Dronsfield is shit too.

Chessy is nothing to write home about.

Except for the spire, which was done by a grumpy devil or something.

Worth a picture.

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Yeah, what’s up with that? I was under the impression that gods liked it straight up.

Mosquito bites on my nob. Although it does double in size.

... Trying to figure out what got your nob sucked by a bug....

Yeah the spire is good.
I think they just used shit wood in the frame and it warped

Chesterfield is ok. Clay Cross is, erm, an interesting place.

Sleeping in the nuddy with the windows open. There’s a zapper outside the window which normally is enough to stop them coming in but one clearly had eyes only for me.

I’ve only ever been there to visit the motorbike shop. Never ventured into town.

Some sexy times need to be had sometimes

Yeah, what’s up with that?

Mosquito bites.

Thoughts and prayers with the mosquito at this time

I hope it flew out the window and went straight for the blue light.

Fzzzzzt