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  • I have just returned from a trip to Sheffield.

    Consequently there are two and a bit things I'm hating on right now:

    1. People who drive in the middle lane, completely oblivious to what's going on around them. Pull over you twats, then go fuck yourselves.

    2. Corpulent, track-suited bell-ends that order Frappucino's from coffee shops on the motorway. Thanks a million twat head, I'll just wait around for half and hour while the 'barista' tries to figure out how to make that shit. Next time, order an espresso, then go fuck yourselves.

    3. McDonalds, for not serving mayo with fries:

    'Can I have some mayonnaise with my fries please?'

    'We don't do mayonnaise sir'

    'Really? What's this white shit on my McChicken Legend then, Spunk?'

    Go fuck yourselves.

    Sorry about that, it was a stressful drive.

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