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Lol, thought you were suggesting I shoot the bike (or something much darker…).
Thanks Hoefla (and Jontea and Tester who replied as I wrote this). After a solid 45 minutes (likely more) of grunting, swearing and bleeding, between 2 grown men we managed to remove the effing thing. Used a hairdryer, multiple thin metal tools, and so much degreaser aerosol that I’m pretty concerned about my fertility levels going forward.
Fuck. Those. Grips.
Eseman
A bit slow to reply, but one possibility is:
https://onlinebicyclemuseum.co.uk/1890s-german-drgm-velodog-cyclist-pistol/
Edit: this is a reply to a question from the previous page - at the time I hadn't read as far as the grips query above, and do not advocate the use of firearms to remove bicycle components.