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I can sympathise with this because I've been in a situation which had some similarity with yours.
I suddenly and unexpectedly became a single parent (children 12 and 14 at the time). It wasn't my wife's fault btw, but it happened.
My racing career was going quite well (for me, anyway) at the time, but this event put a stop to it, at least in the medium term, but not for ever.
It's proverbial that 'In life, it's always later than you think', but in a cycling career this is less true than in most areas because it's possible to go on competing, especially in time trials, much later than in many other sports.
You haven't mentioned your age and this does seem significant. In my own cycling life I have had three separate phases of competition: youth, early middle age and late middle age. It's possible you may end up with something similar
When things start to improve, you might think about other roles in the bike game, rather than just being a competitor. For example if you've done any road racing, you might become a commissaire or in time trialling there's a desperate need for organisers (also true of road racing).
For my part, in the past few years I've done a fair amount of race reporting which I've found has kept me in touch in a way that pleases me more than trying to maintain race fitness in old age.
So however difficult things seem now, it's likely they will improve. When children are born, they can seem like a life sentence, but after they've grown up, you find it hard to believe how quickly it happened - I hope this doesn't sound like a platitude, but it is a common view among those with independent children.
So, be patient, try to keep ticking over, be ready to come back when life allows.
clubman-
Thanks @clubman - appreciate your thoughts!
I’m 37, three kids under 5, another one due June 2022. I think racing has been such a big part of my life up to the last few years that it’s perhaps not a loss of mojo but a sort of mourning for what I know I won’t be able to do to the same extent over the coming years. All self-inflicted and minor worries in the scale of things but you’re right that I just need to just look at this time as like an extended off-season!
Get a ride in here or there when possible and try and keep the pressure off myself about watts and weight (as there is more than enough pressure on every other aspect of my life!).
I’ve had my arse handed to me in races by guys in their mid-forties on many occasions(!) so you are quite right about the longevity in the sport, particularly in the TTs which I love.
Right now I need to just try to step back from work a little somehow. With number four on the way next summer and my wife planning to get straight back into work (she is building something from scratch at the mo which is going to be all-consuming for the next few years) I’ll need to make sure I’m fit and healthy (and mentally sane!) for the kids rather than working through the night six days a week. Must find time for a ride and make it fun!
Ottomanotter
In a total mojo black hole at the moment. I’ve had a really bad run since Easter where a year or so of lockdowns and looking after three young kids during the day then working all night (no more than four hours’ sleep) finally took its toll. Had a series of illnesses (basically just pure exhaustion / burnout) then a serious back injury (getting one of the little ones out of the bath, but caused by crouching over kitchen table on a little laptop for hundreds of hours a month during the lockdowns).
I’ve gone from being a competitive time triallist and FTPing around 360 to barely being able to turn a pedal and being 15kg heavier.
I know I just need to get back on the bike and start again, but I can’t seem to do it. I’ve been so consistently on the bike for so many years that I’ve always been building or tapering, but now I’ve got such a mountain to climb I can’t seem to just start. I’m so out of the habit of fitting training into the day that it now seems alien and too much (on top of kids / work etc).
Anyone got any tips that have helped for just shaking yourself out of this kind of slump? Not being on the bike is ruining my mental health, but I just can’t seem to put my kit on and get the fuck on with it.