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  • God imagine coming home pissed and having to navigate your way up stairs with that carpet. Almost enough to guarantee quick dash to the bog for a technicolour yodel.

  • I wish I had a picture of the bedroom before we painted it. Two walls were raspberry red and two were sandy orange. The woodwork was all mahogany stain. All with that carpet. Oh, and an artex swirl ceiling. You really don’t want to look at artex swirls when you’re a bit pissed.

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