Owning your own home

Do you have an idea or ideas of what you’d like your kitchen to look like? Material, cupboard style, worktops etc?

We installed an IKEA kitchen in our place in the summer there, my father-in-law, my wife & I. Took a few days to get the old one out and the new one in and it was all pretty painless. No experience of getting people in to fit one, but everyone I talked to said that it took a fair bit longer than what we'd done. And that was including having a toddler walking around asking what all the bits were for.

I'm guessing IKEA kitchens aren't everyone's cup of tea, but in terms of installing them, I'd wager it's as easy as it gets.

Also saves on playing builder-roulette.

Edit: Also, IKEA have a pretty decent kitchen designer program to help plan everything out which was super useful.

Is that an architect? Interior designer? Kitchen company? Builder? Again, how do I know that whichever one of those it is are not going to end up in the 90% camp?

All of those options will get you a kitchen. If you're not fussed about cutting edge design (it sounds like you're not - no offence) then the first two can probably be discounted. I would in your shoes go with a kitchen company, not one of the big ones, look for a local independent as they don't have a massive marketing budget so they live and die by their reputation. They will be able to do the design and will have a team of tradespeople that they work with and trust to do installation. Alternatively they will be able to supply you with the design and the kitchen for you to arrange your own installation.

We used a guy that was a friend of a friend, he originally trained as an architect and then became a carpenter. He did the design with me, taking onboard the overall plan for the room, made the units off-site and then installed them (very rapidly) with a colleague that he introduced (who was normally a film-set carpenter).

The quality of the work was excellent, the materials were also excellent and the whole kitchen shows basically no wear many years later.

But, we danced to his tune - he ignored all correspondence unless it suited him, and the work was (very suddenly) scheduled for when he wanted to do it, and we had to drop everything else to accommodate him.

I've had other work done since by a different carpenter and the quality of the craftsmanship is a world away - the kitchen I'd struggle to match, the other stuff I could easily do myself, and frankly wish I had done as the fittings (handles, mainly) are crap quality and bend. The kitchen is 100% Hafale runners/handles etc.

So! The kitchen was a pain due to how difficult it was to work with the carpenter, but I don't think I could have matched the quality he delivered. Literally everything else I've had done in the flat I wish I'd done myself because I could have done it better, apart from some plumbing and electrical work that had to be done on live systems. But the work I've had done I couldn't have done whilst I was at work, so there's value there of course.

I just want to point someone at the kitchen and ask them to tell me what it needs to make it a not shit kitchen.

Most of the big companies (John Lewis, Wickes, B&Q, etc) have designers, teams of fitters (generally subcontractors rather than directly employed), etc

MIL got a bathroom from Wickes recently and used their team and although it was probably a bit more expensive it was fairly straightforward (apart from this pandemic thing) and they did a good job. Included electrics (with relevant certificates) plumbing, tiling, waste disposal, etc