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  • I had the misfortune to hear someone in the work bog having a 'opening the gates of hell' shit in cubicle next to me today. Midway through the grunting and carpetbombing they cracked open a can of fizzy pop.

  • There's a logic to this. It's about packing the most into your break. It's the same as reading the paper on the crapper. Relax in your private space and enjoy some me time. It's why we keep comics next to the bog at home. I often relax with Viz and a cup of tea when having a crap. If I have a colourful event, so what? My own stink doesn't bother me.

  • Relax in your private space and enjoy some me time.

    Relaxing in your own, well cleaned, well ventilated, used by you and your’s, crapper is one thing.

    Scoffing a prawn cocktail sarny in a windowless, shit stinking cubicle that’s probably been defiled by hundreds of cyclists on high protein diets, predominantly males with poor aim, since it was last given a cursory wipe around with a handful of blue roll is quite another.

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