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An SUV of a guitar must surely be something oversized, overpriced, impractical for everyday use and blinged to the hilt.
This is a great discussion. I'm thinking it could be something that's dressed up as the best version of something it's not (i.e. SUV being a good looking but fake 4x4).
In that case the guitar version is this years re-issue, reliced, signature '63 strat or similar.
I reckon an Epi LP is more of a Vauxhall Astra (Squier Strat is a Ford Focus, obvs)