I've never 'got'

You mean like that guy from The Black Eyed Peas?

What Fergie?

100% agree.

With you on this.

I did change my name to Winifred for a while when I was experimenting with transvestism, but soon realised that clothes didn't actually make me a different person and everyone knew it was me anyway so it was a bit pointless.

I know a William, who I am fairly sure isn't you.

My IRL name is fairly unique and I suspect most on here would never meet another one.

I used to post under it, but changed all my onlining to variations of my current username.

or maybe these handles are an extension, an extramural expression, of ‘you’ and that’s okay.
Doesn’t have to be a straightforward either/or.

Also, Paul is a shit name unless you’re a rim brake.

*author is not a rim brake : (

or maybe these handles are an extension, an extramural expression, of ‘you’ and that’s okay.

Good point. As someone who messes about with identity alot I do understand this.

Can you really not imagine why someone would want to engage on the internet in a non-criminal, non-joke way and want to do it in a non-identifiable way?

I don't really want everything I post to be seen by current/future employers, work contacts, family or trolls in a way that readily connects it with IRL me. I don't take great pains to hide my identity but I also don't want to broadcast it with every casual utterance.

I don't really want everything I post to be seen by current/future employers, work contacts, family or trolls in a way that readily connects it with IRL me.

I have said many things in the past online I would be embarrassed / awkward about saying to people in real life.

But in a practical sense, its useful for people to know who I am. Recent examples being; someone offering to lend me a bike because they figured out I used to work for their company, people finding my insta feed and visiting my exhibition, many people donating bikes and parts to a charity project, etc etc. All my online activity is connected these days, and it helps keep my tendency for arguments / meltdowns in check.

I've banned myself from Twitter now, but in arguments on there I would suddenly find I had to listen and engage if someone I knew IRL disagreed with me. With people you don't know, arguments become toxic and destructive much more quickly.

I get what youre saying about current / future employers. As freelancer I'm never a representative of a company per se, so not an issue for me.

I don't know how that's supposed to work but with a generic name like that you are anonymous.

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Fuck, you’ve rumbled them.

It's not about anything you post that might be embarrassing, it's about protecting yourself in case someone decides to fuck with you. There are a lot of deranged people out there and if someone decides they want to do you harm due to something you posted online, no matter how innocent, it's best not to let them be able to connect it to your real life. People have lost their jobs and more due to internet witch hunts that targeted an innocent person.

100% this.

This. And there is a whole other level of risk / caution to add to it if one is female.

also - don't use your real name on any SM. Better yet, don't use it at all.

I was going to add- very aware of the privilege of being male, or perceived as male, in public spaces. I'm lucky to always feel as safe online as I am IRL, bar the odd bit of homophobia and trolling. It's easy to block people on most fora, though.

What is a real name anyway? Unless you publish your full name, address and photo online, surely you’re hiding behind some sort of alias.

There are a lot of deranged people out there and if someone decides they want to do you harm due to something you posted online, no matter how innocent, it's best not to let them be able to connect it to your real life.

Deranged people, stalkers, abusers, and the society that produced them, are the problem that need addressing. It's a shame people are not safe to use their own names. Online aliases might make us feel safer but it doesn't solve the problem of abusive behaviour, any more than telling people they shouldn't put themselves at risk by going out at night. I guess I'm lucky to never have suffered serious online abuse.

Yes it would be nice if crime nd abuse didn't exist but it does.

Nah. I go out at night because there is no substitute to participating in the real world. I engage pretty freely online partly because I don't use my real name. They don't seem at all equivalent.

Even on a night out I've probably bullshitted my way through the first hour or so of a conversation and only given away my first name (actually my surname is funny so comes up a bit when pissed) but people won't remember much of that and there isn't everything else I've said attached to it. I can't see any reason to want to use a real life name online, or give away more than the basic info IRL unless you are specifically putting yourself out there for public reasons or trust the person you're communicating with directly with more, and I'm pretty lackadaisical about my online and offline presence.

I've also probably said awful things straight away without saying who I am, and forgotten the name of everyone around me instantly.