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We rented a car to go to France from EuropCar a couple of christmases ago. The taking it abroad option adds a metric fuckload to the price, but they will do it.
As everyone else has said, it's much cheaper to go to France and rent one at a big Leclerc or other supermarket. They literally don't give a crap if you take it out of the country. No extra cost.However it seems to me that you're missing the most obvious answer. You drive your car, and your wife rents one in the UK to drive in the UK while you're gone. Just get something from Sixt or join Zipcar. Far less hassle all round.
bq
@car-thread-users: i need to be in Koln for a wedding for a couple of days at the end of this month. The flights are all at horrible times so I reckon driving is my best bet. I live 20 mins from Dover so ferry or Eurotunnel both good options. We only have one family car and I don't want to leave Mrs Fatberg and kiddoes carless so am looking to rent something.
Any recommendations for non-scammy car rentals in Kentfofordshire that will be happy with me driving though Yerp?