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@Stoo61
I was miserable and stressed start of 2020 (98kg), rode more, ran more, lifted weight and ate impeccably to get down to 82kg (wont get much lower than that while being strong) by the summer and was beginning to sort my head out...now I'm back up to 92kg and I'm properly happy and balanced. Which seems to be making it harder to motivate to shift that 10kg back to fighting weight :)
I am not yet complaining because life is good.