Epic fail

https://twitter.com/cyclingtips/status/1446193248976834587

It is an exceedingly good album though.

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I was a John Doe once. Scooped up from the road by a San Franciso paramedic, unconscious, with no ID, so he put John Doe as my name on his forms. I was test riding a Serotta and hadn't persuaded my brain that the right brake lever goes to the rear brake in America. So I locked the rear on a corner, smacked my head on the road and fractured my skull. After a couple of days of regular attention from a brain surgeon, the bill was well into five figures. And I'd forgotten to get insurance. So I skedaddled. Several epic fails I suppose. A nice bit of brain damage too.

Whoah, the coffee thing comes into focus now.
Kidding, only kidding.

It was nearly a lot worse. I'd met a woman a few weeks before and was staying ar her place. She was with me at the bike shop when I set off on the test ride. The Serotta was put in the ambulance. As I had no ID (left my wallet at the bike shop) someone at the hospital inspected the bike, found the shop's sticker on it, and called them. So by the time I woke up the bike was back at the shop and the woman was at my bedside. She'd pretended to be my wife so she could get into my room. The brain surgeons were checking me every 90 minutes, day and night, to see if the bleeding on my brain had got any worse. If it had, they would have operated. When I woke up, one of them started questioning me, to see how my brain was doing. And his first question was 'who is this woman'? I couldn't remember - we hadn't known each other that long, she had a really unusual Iranian name, and we hadn't ever needed to use each other's names much anyway. Then it came to me - Mashhad. Phew.

Mashhad and Mashedhead… such a cute couple

Are you still on the wanted list in the US?

John Doe isn’t allowed in the US anymore.

🤣

The only follow-up was a letter to my home from a debt collector, offering a 90% discount. The hospital didn't sue me, so I seem to have got away with it. A few years later the hospital changed its name to the Zuckerberg San Francisco General, so they're probably not broke.

As a fellow head-injury-after-cycling-incident person, I'm deeply jealous of this story. Walking home from the recovery care ward in hospital pyjamas so I could get a decent night's sleep doesn't sound half as exotic.

On Coldharbour Lane it isn't even remotely unusual.

Gawd. At least you got some free pyjamas. I didn't manage to nick anything. Pyjamas would have been such a good souvenir.

Yep, done the dizzy dance riding home after a whack to the bonce. I was in hospital for ten days ‘observation’ with a blood clot at the front of my brain and the mother and father of all headaches. A former nurse GF couldn’t believe they left me to improve and didn’t drain it.

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He did start it: https://twitter.com/ChevyChaseToGo/status/1446506366932295680

Spatial awareness fails.

https://twitter.com/KentishTownLTN/status/1447834524038176770

And for those wondering, it's not a rising bollard, it's a width restriction that just happens to have a rising bit of curb leading to the first bollard on the left, so cars that misjudge things get partially lifted up onto the bollard.

https://goo.gl/maps/PAb8p5hC1xqCjRoA9

Not very clear on the video, but they're obvs just very poor drivers looking at that Street View pic... Amazing...

Why have a 2 foot high bollard?
A normal size one would be more visible.

Banter

https://www.reddit.com/r/nevertellmetheodds/comments/qamnyb/a_squirrel_managed_to_get_caught_on_a_fence_by/

A squirrel managed to get caught on a fence by his nutsack.

This comment tho

https://old.reddit.com/r/nevertellmetheodds/comments/qamnyb/a_squirrel_managed_to_get_caught_on_a_fence_by/hh4hdag/

Me I guess, for thinking parking outside a church on a Sunday morning was a solid way of swerving the paid parking inside the park we were a-visiting.

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