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To be far if Grant Shapps says to don’t panic, it’s probably the right time to panic
I wouldn't really call that 'far', it seems pretty close to the truth to me. :)
He appears to be just another incompetent Transport Secretary (and the line of those is a lot longer than any queues at filling stations today), but somehow the lack of one big, obvious blunder and the lack of a rhyming nickname has meant his exploits haven't caught the public imagination (and because most of the current mess is down to Johnson's idiocy first and foremost). The best I can think of is 'Mishaps Shapps', although that doesn't rhyme.
Oliver Schick
It’s fucking nuts on the south coast, ridden passed 3 petrol stations and the roads around them are total gridlocked.
Glad my bike just runs on hummus.
To be far if Grant Shapps says to don’t panic, it’s probably the right time to panic