LFGSS Camper Van owners?

I'd want the option of four seats - consider two scenarios:

1. Weekend at BPW and Afan, with 3-4 people. All the bikes are secure in the back, everyone has a seat, there's a coffee machine in the back that can be used whilst we drive down the M4. Arrive, ride, wash the bikes off and stow securely in the back, drive to the hotel, shower and dinner. Head out after breakfast the next day, ride, wash and stow bikes and drive back home
   
2. Two weeks in Morzine for two people, remove the rear seats and use the space for luggage, two MTB and two road bikes in the secure store in the back. Stay at a campsite with a shower, 12v coolbox in the van to complement the cooking pod. Put the awning out with the attachable side panels to make a sheltered living space, sleep "upstairs".
   
   

I could just buy a van then sleep in the back in a sleeping bag between the bikes, but that sounds miserable - I'm an old man who wants his creature comforts.