I hate

It has to be crap when it’s ‘sung‘ exclusively by cavemen.
You will find if you grunt a close rendition of it while stumbling forward dragging your knuckles on the floor it all works together rather well.

Ok let’s start at the beginning:
David “Blackface” Baddiel (the unfunny one from Newman and Baddiel) and Frank “Playground Danger” Skinner were painting themselves as “New Lads” a 90s rebrand of young blokes being twats. The term “lad” has an air of danger or a threat of violence, these two were only dangerous to girls just about old enough to legally consent and non-white footballers. They weren’t lads, no matter how much they wished they were. They weren’t young and your little sister could knock their teeth out. They decided to like football for money and to promote their careers.
They chose to enlist Ian Broudie and his band The Lightning Seeds. A group so twee and insipid they made Belle and Sebastian sound like Slayer. The Lightning Seeds played a kind of post C86 indie with nasty bontempi keyboard hooks all topped of with a man who sang like he was embarrassed of his own voice. Such is Ian’s songwriting talent that he can express emotions all the way from “I’ve got enough club card point to get some free biscuits” right through to “I’m feeling chipper because I am trying out a new brand of deodorant”. But Ian was a bit Northern and he wore an anorak indoors which made you a lad in the 90s (but a trainspotter in every other decade).
Together they wrote a song that is simultaneously pretentiously wordy and fucking moronic. Skinner and Baddiel are not professional singers but managed to ape Broudie’s wimper sufficiently well for the three of them to create a chorus that is kind of like a football chant. A terrace chant that is sanitised and cozy instead of being offensive like real football chants.
It’s an anthem for England fans who are so lost in their identity that they would join in with “the wheels on the bus” as easily as they do with “ten German bombers” or “No Surrender to the IRA” and the same basic arseholes sing 3 Lions

…and strictly speaking they aren’t lions on the shirt