I hate

Modern repros, I think one is a Harley actually, but again, newly built with a classic look.

“Here’s my cafe racer style vanity project bike that is set up so impractically that it is only reasonable to ride it to and from this coffee shop, which is aggressively curated to cater to this fad”

Proper grumpy old spoil sport attitude from me tbf. But yes, not a fan.

Take away the admittedly annoying loud engines, and you have there a description of some of our own favourite two-wheelers...

I rode 100 milers on my lopro. But I definitely think you make a valid point.

I also never had a bike that was nice enough to be dry weather only, and I want a motorbike, so I’m basically just a jealous prick.

Gonna go for some low hanging fruit: Britain First.
I’ve hated those cunts since I first saw their “click if you hate people who torture dogs” campaign on Facebook. Of course everyone hates people who torture animals, but that logo was suspect. Then I did some research horrible borderline loyalist terrorist call centre manager fucking with the weak minded and bewildered.
Then one of their terrorists assassinated Jo Cox and intimidated parliament into approving Brexit, changing from an advisory survey into fucking law…because death threats work especially when you are happy to carry them out.

Today I was being shown a CRM integration at work and how my organisation is building a hosted voice environment. And there as the guy scans through the pages are thousands upon thousands of identical emails with the same title. I do some googling etc and find it’s BF again swamping our systems with their fucking bile.

Why aren’t those terrorist cunts banged up how is that organisation regarded as a political entity and not a terrorist group?

The sweet chestnut trees in my garden are in full flower so it smells my under-bed sports sock of my early teens.

I have a caf race, I got a bike (Guzzi V50) and cut and filed bits off,replaced bits with stuff I made myself or bought cheap or blagged to make it light and quick.
Cafè Racers are production styling exercises or purchased patina for your personality where they add useless shiney bits.

My Dad was quite cosmopolitan for the Midlands in the 1950s but he would have said Caf not Cafè.

If it’s even 1db noisier than it needs to be from a mechanical point of view, you will get a scornful look from me as you pass.

Tbf with a guzzi v50 it won’t be the noise which is annoying but the oil it pisses everywhere (should the electrics decide to work) ;)

Loud motorbikes are like the same small peen energy as massively expensive saloon (or most car types in London really)
I like the sound of loud engines sometimes. I can't imagine dragging that loud sound with me everywhere I go so that people have to cover their ears as I pass them.

If it’s even 1db noisier than it needs to be from a mechanical point of view

This

There seems to be a current fad for fitting deep loud pipes on 125s and scooters, it’s pointless and they’re still slow as shit

Yeah, because 125 scooters and bikes sound tinny and also annoying. It's kinda funny hearing a 125 trying to tear down the road on gravel size wheels/tires

I don't know anything about motorbikes, but am aware there is a 'loud pipes save lives' argument - by making other road users aware.

Wish people would embrace squeaky brakes for the same reason!

There's loud, then there's having to pause your conversation/cover your ears while easy rider goes past

Don’t ride like a cunt saves lives. Instead of riding like a cunt on a loud bike. At least the loud noise helps you identify them as a twat.

There was a total cunt that rode a quad bike with a fucked exhaust around town at night. There were reports in the local papers about a “motorcycle gang” racing through town.
It was just one stupid cunt making so much noise people thought it was 20 bikes.
I hate him

https://youtu.be/ylhsbfQTPDQ

Lol 😂

I think this is at the heart of my issue. There’s a genuine culture of people buying and modding, and having fun, and there’s a culture of spending a load of cash to create some sort of aesthetic facsimile, which to me is a direct contradiction with buying, modding on the cheap and DIYing.
Power player consumerism - splashing the biggest amount of cash in the smallest niche as a form of expression doesn’t do it for me (not that it’s a choice available to me either).

If you get what I mean. But also, who am I to judge how people spend their money?

I beg your pardon? Here’s me at the Ace a while back.

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You identify as a motorcycle? Transformer?

That's lovely, I sense blood, sweat and tears in that project... My neighbour's got a really beautiful cafe racer that he's bought off some boutique shelf somewhere, it's a trinket, he never rides it... Loud as fuck, he's a wanker... He's also got a boat and a jetski and fuck knows what else...

We did have a Kiwi biker living over the road until recently, loudest fucking Harley I've ever fucking heard in my life... I used to take the piss out of him til I find out he was part of a deadly Kiwi biker gang... Was very happy when he moved a few months back, the whole house would shake when he rumbled past!!

Look, I’ve dug myself into a hole because I watched too many YouTube videos of yuppies buying very expensive bikes and it wound me up. And I’m skint.

Yuppies on classic looking bikes is exactly the problem here, but I'm a bit anti-fashion in general and never understood the mentality.