Crap 'Buzzwords'

Consciously uncouple

There's probably a better thread for this, but I don't know which. To keep it relevant to this one, the chief exec did say:

"Our new brand Abrdn builds on our heritage and is modern, dynamic and, most importantly, engaging for all of our client and customer channels,"

K den.

I think I mentally say this as "Abradan".

Abrdn: Standard Life Aberdeen vowel-less rebrand mocked

Standard Life and Aberdeen Asset Management - missed an open goal there... SLAAM!

It makes me think of

"Drops" in the context of starting to sell something.

Surely any sane person would read TAG Heuer Drops Green Dial Monaco to Mark Grand Prix Historique and think it's been discontinued, not just put on sale.

I've just been introduced to a new one

Plan on a Page also represented as POAP.

It appears to contain the depth and certainty of the back of a fag packet plan of old.

Also another one in the same meeting.

Interlocking: despite it not appearing to tie up with anything else (inter) nor guaranteed to deliver (locking)

Ho hum said Pooh

I hate retail drops almost as much as I hate retail 'packs'.

Someone was talking to me about 'pitchroll' the other day. I haven't come across it in the wild myself, thankfully, but apparently it means 'preparing the ground'/prep work ahead of announcing/doing something. From cricket, apparently.

Acclimated, pronounced ackla mated.

They mean acclimatised.

"I guess you're acclimated to it".

Muricans.

'Fucktard'
Or any pejorative ending in -tard

Round (Teams) table discussion.

It was meant in jest but aaaaah my brain is getting twisted up by the concept!

'Precedent'

People at my work use it to describe stuff they're going to copy.

Wait until you hear how they pronounce nomenclature

Hybrid working = working from home some days.

Ah but I'm now on the

home-first hybrid model of working

= working at home most of the time

Hybrid working = working from home all the time while some over-enthusiastic colleagues who really like an hour-long commute go into the office.

Another new one on me today.

"we need to know who is holding the pen on this one".

Really? You can FRO with that talk or I'm gonna shoot the puppy.

... In case anyone was wondering or worrying

1 Attachment

Surprised you haven't heard that one in your industry, maybe you managed to avoid Americans with MBAs...

My employer are now a 'purpose-led organisation'. Which I think is a fashionable way of implying a company does everything for the greater good, and the pursuit of profit or shareholder return is entirely secondary.

It does however make one wonder if it previously had no purpose at all, whether financial or more lofty.

I was interested to find there is a UK consultancy called Purpose Led Performance.

Naturally I wanted to find out what their purpose was. Oddly, they don't seem to be able to articulate that very well. It's right there on their homepage:

Our Purpose

• Improving businesses through purpose led performance.
  

So far, so purposeful. But then goes on to say:

• We support our clients build strong foundations [sic] on which to grow: purpose, ambition, culture and talent
  
• The S.W.I.F.T growth model provides practical tools and know-how to achieve, manage and sustain growth
  
• We are a different type of consultancy and have learned what works by working in senior roles in high-performing organisations
  
• Our core-values are: Happy and useful, Aim high and make an impact, Honest and brave, Curious and always learning
  

I think they need to find the purpose of a copywriter.

What a load of utter guff. Every time I read stuff like that, this line comes to mind…

https://youtu.be/epfOpsX1T9M&t=5m57s

We are a different type of consultancy

Nope. No. Not ever.

To be honest, every time I read stuff like that, I am slightly tempted to abandon my 'core-values', and make millions doing it more convincingly myself.

But then I just moan about it here.

Senior people in my department have started using the internal hashtag #searchanddestroy about a massive, multi-year, multi-million pound piece of work. Imagine it's about removing errors from data. It isn't, but it'll do.

Should I:

(a) lean in, and use it liberally, particularly as a piece of non-clickable text*?
(b) point out in a town hall that it was coined as a US tactic in Vietnam, effectiveness being measured in the number of dead bodies, thus leading to large-scale civilian massacres in a protracted war of attrition involving the deaths of hundreds of thousands?
(c) swing for the fences and start #shockandawe?

* is there a term for a #hashtag which doesn't actually function as a #hashtag?

A madeahashofittag?