Sort-of memes that are cracking you up at the moment

haha

It's horse meat revenge

And that one time they tried to fix milk prices

And all the good food they throw away.
Supermarkets can be cunts

A trusted senior counter clerk at a PO Branch office went out shopping every lunchtime and had a long term arrangement with the branch manager that allowed her to keep her carrier bags of shopping in his big walk in stock and cash safe until the end of the day when she would collect her shopping and go home .
One day she didn't turn up for work and 50 grand was missing from the safe .
The shopping items were still in the safe but not in carrier bags.

Ok, I think we just crossed some sort of line there, but I'm buggered if I can define exactly what it is.

People like the PO but not high street shops?

we just crossed some sort of line there

Intrigue ...

This was very pre Horizon btw.

You could be right but there’s a few that I have noticed(I try not to shop there too often) that have been at it for a good couple of years now.
It must really screw with your head if you work there as presumably the policy is they can’t confront/chase shoplifters but to be stood at the counter and see a regular walk in knowing full well exactly what they’re about to do is crazy.

I wonder if they bring the basket back each time of if these folks just have a pile of them in their homes...

I had a part time job in Presto/Safeway when I was in sixth-form. Did a bit of OT one day I was in the bakery when one of the butchers came in with a load of steak. First time meeting him ,he asked me to tape the steak to his belly and back . Wasn't even wrapped in anything.
One of my jobs was to reduce the bread at the end of the day to sell the next day, I used to have a regular queue of pensioners who come in last thing for the cheap bread. Sometimes there Wasn't much left for the next morning, closest I'll ever get to being a Robin Hood .

I used to kick people’s heads in and steal their money

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What’s that, willow? £300 is a steal.

People like the PO but not high street shops?

Think it was more the jump from the odd fiver’s worth of stock/out the till to £50k out the safe.

Thinking about it, I don’t reckon I’ve had a job where there hasn’t been either a current case or recent story about someone making off with a decent amount of stock or cash.

There was the guy that ‘got jumped’ taking the cash up to the safe when I worked in Costa, the person that had been pocketing any yearly gym membership fees that were paid in cash at my current job…

Am I missing a trick?

I used to sneak roast potato sandwiches when I worked in a pub kitchen.

Supermarket I worked in had a thing where if they said Code 100 over the tannoy all male staff had to rush to the front of the store as something was afoot, some have a go hero's used to absolute love it but like others have mentioned we were strictly told we couldn't touch or confront anyone, so landed up just being this weird useless group of cocks circling around before wandering back to the shelves

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I worked in an architect firm that called Jarrolds “the Harrods of the north”.
Hope their building design was better than their geography.
(I was there as a graphic designer).

Worked behind the bar in a city centre pub in the late 70s when I was 18. The 'tips' I got were probably the same as my wage. Us staff would also go in on our nights off and have very cheap nights out with the massive 'unofficial staff discount'.

One night the Manager calls for me to go to his office before I started my shift, I was worried.

"I'm not seeing the takings I would be expecting for night so & so when you was working"

At my tender age ,i'm not worldly and can feel myself reddening and beginning to panic.

"I've been watching you closely and"

i'm shaking, sweating and ready to do a runner

"You're honest and not skimming, if I paid you a bit extra would you keep an eye on your colleagues"

I nearly fainted, I thanked him profusely, agreed, but actually only worked for a few shifts more. Not for any thieves honour, more, that he was a lovely fellow and the guilt I felt, for him wrongly trusting me.

It's quite cathartic telling that story some 45years later for the first time.

Had a buddy who worked in a bar in a leisure centre (sounds so weird now).
We would go and get a pint there before moving on. Our “change” was often considerably more than what we actually paid. Buddy would finish his shift and catch us later to reap the ill gotten rewards.
After a month or two Buddy was pulled into the office and told that something was wrong…the takings were massively up when he worked the bar.

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If that's not shopped, they some long ass toes

Pixels, wixels, doobety-doo...

I used to work in an investment bank when I was younger. Takings were up, and the boss was pleased, but then it turned out that some of our colleagues had been fiddling the London Inter-bank Offered Rate for years. Even though the boss didn't know anything about it, and anyone who said otherwise clearly had an axe to grind, he was eventually forced to resign, poor fellow.