Does anyone know anything about gardening?

I have a butt (fnar), and a spare tap.....

Probably 3/4" BSP. If it's a small butt (fnar) it might be 1/2" BSP. One or the other.

My butt (fnar) is connected to the downpipe that collects from the smallest section of roof in the world (two tiles deep, 2m wide), and only really to stop that downpipe from discharging (eww) onto the patio. Haven't actually checked to see how much it has collected considering this is the wettest Meh on record.

How old is your star jasmine?

I got 3 about 5 years ago. I moved one to a better spot after it not doing anything and it's still only a foot.

The one at the back with the thin trail isn't trained that well and still isn't all that.

The one at the front really got going after year 2 or 3 I think, and now with the rain and a shit load of food looks like it is going nuts.

That one has had one flower in all the time I've had it. Still it's one more than the others. Praying that this year with lots of feed it'll flower.

I'm amazed how quickly the one I connected to the shed gutter filled. Obviously I expected it to be faster than just being open, but it was basically a couple of days. I then decanted the water to another and it filled up again. Now moving the water to a massive one bit by bit as I haven't hooked that one up as I'm deciding whether to try and elevate it. But not sure I cba.

I was rather surprised when, after a good night's rain just after I'd installed my water butt, it was full in the morning. All 300 litres, full to the brim.

I then decanted the water to another and it filled up again. Now moving the water to a massive one bit by bit as I haven't hooked that one up as I'm deciding whether to try and elevate it.

Sounds like the prepping's going well. How's the bunker?

👌

I’m happy to report after some slight surgery to my hot composter things are hotting up.

I’m not sure what temp is half was between zero and steam but let’s say 40-50 degrees c.

How can I get this hotter, time or more greens and paper?

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star jasmine

The Vitax Q4 is obviously doing the trick on the one out the front.

Wish I'd known earlier you had to feed them in growing season.

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My Salvias got a rude introduction to outside living in yesterdays epic hail storm. And I think it’s RIP for our pygmy water Lilly :’(

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The hail did that?!

Crazy, it looks like it’s been used for target practice.

Yes, grass clippings will do the job or spent brewing grain, large amount of coffee etc.
Add some shredded paper / card etc to stop it going Anaerobic.

On the topic of composters, everytime I open my regular style compost bin in the summer, a cloud of flies emerge. Is this normal or a sign that it's Anaerobic? The flies have been know to bite (my sister-in-law) which seems weird and not at all helpful for my two year old daughter who is fasinated by the two compost bins.

That’s crazy. When my car got scratched last week I wondered about the hail but turns out it was just some idiots 😥

Neem oil for zapping aphids, any good? any reason not to use it?

It's good, I used it to batter the aphids on my apple tree with success.

Ah good. My roses and viburnum are suffering a bit. I've ordered a sprayer to commence battle.

Get a horticultural soap too - helps to properly emulsify the neem oil

horticultural soap

Great, ordered

Things be a growing round the pond which is currently newt central

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New bird table is finished.

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I would expect at least a fly-past by the red sparrows for that masterpiece.

Just about peak Iris here in sunny Catford.
Fern just about fully unfurled too.
Dug up some of the patio and am trying my luck at potatoes this year. Going to earth them up this weekend.

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Insert joke about bird shit welds here.....

Nice job!