Hybrids / bad mountain bikes / insta wagons / bling rigids - please, i beg, no 700c 😩

Ooh some velo orange rims as well, a slightly more understated build

Empty bagman is a strong move.

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As is one black and one amber wall tyre

Strong contender for a wanker here

one that is cheap and functional can genuinely be locked up and left without worry

Butbutbut...there are standards to uphold, even in a beater, and thus we eventually return, upgrade by upgrade, to the bike which, while perhaps not fully qualifying for this thread, is still too nice to leave locked up all day.

Maybe there needs to be a middle grounds thread, not wanker but definitely a bit too nice for what you need it for, 1x 10/11 speed town cruisers. Allow 700c as it’ll be more common. Nice parts for sure but mainly sticking to shimano/oem brands vs the Chris king and Paul of the wanker bikes.

is still too nice to leave locked up all day.

Which I propose is one of the fundamental qualifiers for this thread. No amount of locks and security skewers can protect a good wankbrid as 15 seconds with a 4mm allen key would see hundreds of pounds worth of shiny alu taken....

Start a thread!

What you’ve described is definitely something I admire in a bike. There’s a subtle art to making a bike that to the uninitiated might appear to just be some old runabout, but someone else who’s a bit more clued up (‘on here’ or otherwise) would a find much to appreciate about it.

Finally I could post my bike to a really appropriate thread.

This feels like a coup :-D

Exactly what I did with my around town beater.
Dura ace stem
Superbe Pro cranks
Mavic Pista hubs
Brooks Pro Select
Honjo Mudguards.

‘What do you mean I can’t bring my bike inside‽’

Okay. Here’s somewhere for your bike you wanted to post here, but that didn’t have enough bling draped on it

@Qebrus @vpCogworks

Beautiful

Wow - this could be the end of this party. Maybe it was too Islington 2" tyre-centric and failed to win back the provincial plaid wall. I wonder if maj will step forward and say "this is on me".

I feel a bit like Diane Abbott here popping up out of post election well deserved obscurity to say I told you so, but...

On the contrary, I feel this party is currently being pulled in different directions with divisions within. The essence of the party is in danger of being diluted. Maj had a vision and perhaps some found it too challenging, too radical.

I'd like to think, for those that know me, is that I am nothing less than a utopian ideologue, who's dogmatic in their authoritarian and radical beliefs.

if this separatist cell wants to emerge it can only be good for the people and the party, for it means we can have a finer, more concentrated set of posts featuring true wanker bikes. No longer will we be derailed by sensible 26rs, practical bike packers or rat bikes wanting to weasle their way into a dynamic, progressive and radical movement.

for we can finally focus on our true goals and ambitions. that is what the party wanted to escape, and that is what it will continue to prosper doing.

for i can go to the street of any 2nd city and see a handful of dad bike mtbs, but what gets me excited is seeing the truly deranged bikes i could not bring myself to build in my shed.

These brave, idealistic newcomers will surely hasten the demise of the gravel thread

This has been a long time coming and I welcome the change with open arms

To be fair I think years of Gravel dogma, that didnt appeal to anyone except the gravel riders is what caused this... cant really blame maj for inheriting a mess. Worth remembering that the gravel stuff was just a re-run of the hard left early 29er stuff in the early 90s that lead to years of 650b obscurity only overcome when New 29er Tukt came along...

(any minute now the owner of the gravel thread will re-appear from his allotment to comment...)

if this separatist cell wants to emerge it can only be good for the people and the party, for it means we can have a finer, more concentrated set of posts featuring true wanker bikes.

This is my goal. To browse the early pages of this manifesto is to walk the shining marbled promenades of velotopia. Now, still only 24 pages young, we find a heartbreaking dissonance occurring, threatening to douse the spark before it’s time.

This all reeks of furlough.

I wholeheartedly agree with the above. The splinter cell as I shall refer to them as had definitely started to infiltrate this very exclusive group, where on first glance you should undeniably tell if membership shall be granted.

The bling needs to on an almost overwhelming level to where you are unsure you are looking at some deranged show bike or a catalogue of niche cnc’d bike parts thrown at a steel frame. Usefulness and ride-ability are not the forefront of the build process and everything is based on a very specific set of looks.

The separation of some of the applications can only be a good thing in bolstering our exclusivity.

To browse the early pages of this manifesto is to walk the shining marbled promenades of velotopia.

The splinter cell should realise that there's already a thread for FBNPNAs already.

it's all going a bit change UK for the centrist fringe

I was granted membership to The Party on Page 1, but 17 days is a long time in Bike Politics and there's been a seismic shift in Wankerism towards CK, Paul, René Herse and general unobtainium. Disaffection is real; fancy cables, Stooge bar and nice tyres do not a wanker bike make according to current party dogma, particularly a 26er. Will my party membership card be recalled if I stick some ATACs on and have the temerity to go ride broken surfaces?

@AlexD is chukka