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A regular hosepipe and hoseclamp would be your best bet
+1
Also they're not that rigid compared to a normal tap (or at least mine isn't).
If you want a Hozelock, I'd probably attach a short bit of pipe+clamps first and then the Hozelock hardware to that.
Alternatively install some kind of overcomplicated solar powered pump via one of the blanks near the top.
Unlikely. Hozelock has a very proprietary profile to their fittings. That is more like a simple barb. A regular hosepipe and hoseclamp would be your best bet. Even a wing nutted one for convenience would be fine as it's not under any significant pressure. I have the same on my butt (fnar) and it's what I would do.