Hybrids / bad mountain bikes / insta wagons / bling rigids - please, i beg, no 700c 😩

this thread is for trendy hybrids and will be ruled very strictly, I urge users to call out any non trendy/wanker/overly fussy hybrids and shame the poster

Wanker Bike (adj) - A bike which features functional design and componentry, that under closer investigation, appears meticulously constructed, elegant and over indulgent for its intended uses

Example:

"did you see Matilda's new bike? looks a bit burly and shiney for just riding to the shops, no?"
"agreed, but she always liked a wanker bike, tis' pretty at least"

Things permitted/ encouraged:

nice wide bars
long and short stems
bougie flat pedals
27.5 / 29r rims
japanese tyres
imported cnc
trendy bike luggage
nice racks
rigid forks
rim and disc brakes
Caradice
excess headset spacers
basically anything you could get a customs charge on and is seen on the radavist
£10 patches
stickers (we will judge the quality of the brand your decide to apply)
custom frame bags
low cost (oem parts, deore, atlus decathalon) mixed with high cost (nitto, paul, hope, king)
brooks
weirdly expensive "bike packing" bars
big tyre mini velos

things not permitted/ explicitly discouraged:

drop bars
aluminium frames (hydroformed, non conventional tubing)
bouncy forks
650b/700c tyre sizes
rear suspension
Schwalbe marathons and marathons plus
spd sl/ speed play/ attac pedals
carbon (frames/forks/parts)
"lauf"
tripples
crosschecks/ stragglers/ keplers/ cdfs / "gravel bikes people force big tyres on" et al
apidura
restrap
fizik/deda/3t anything which looks like it came from a road bike
speedvagen
any form of child carrying equipment/ bolt ons

things which will go to the jury:

26rs
cargo forks
ebikes
spd pedals
dirt drop bars
slick tyres
mudguards
2x gearing

additional rules

You are also encouraged to post and review terrain you ride your trendy hybrid here, from downhill to a road, how did it preform? were you scared? did you need more or less bike?

Readers rides are strongly encouraged and enjoyed as long as they conform to the criteria

Supported framesets

genesis longitude
genesis vegabond
surly bridge club
surly ogre
surly LHT (26" only)
surly karate monkey
surly pack rat
surly krampus
crust evasion
crust scapegoat
all city log lady
pipe dream alice
brother big bro
planet x 29r inbred
planet x 456 (rigid fork only)
the vandal metalworks
hulsroy frames
kona rove (27.5 wheels only)
kona sutra
fearless warlock (27.5 only)
singular peregrine
sanderson town crier
stooge anything and everything
26" mtbs (they need to have at least 2 pieces of JDM or USA made parts and 1x)
giant tough road
velo orange piolet
velo orange mini neutrino

something to get the ball rolling

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Pub and takeaway pick ups

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some more

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cutting it fine with the tyres size and model, but the brooks, bar and rack redeems it,

approved

Can I play with the cool kids pretty pls? 🙏🏼

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My canal commuter. Once these tyres die I wanna go bigger.

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cables. tyres and bar set up, truly a person of the gram, a solid approval

another couple

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That Klein's bending the rules a bit eh. WBASE sticker saves it huh? Hehe

I'm here to witness the bougie flat pedals mostly.

this is a fair critique,

the pro case is: single brake, niche saddle, stridsland ring and WI crank and simworks bars, truly a person who has lost many a day to the instagram discover feed

When locking this up at the bike racks at work I was told it was "A bit like the bicycle equivalent of a Chelsea Tractor" and therefore I assume it belongs here.

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Ah shit I want that saddle

hope wheels, super nova, thomson and pretty much sparkling clean? absolutely does

you have been granted an extension on your application pending bigger rubber

strong set of approvals here,

that crust, leadership material with a few years on the front bench i think

i think with 26rs they need to have a strong amount of zeitgeist parts on to separate them from their historic selves, and at the very least have a 1x conversion and good baggage

So basically this is just the Xbiking subreddit?

I thought it was a functional thread reboot?

I think they mostly fall into "Dad bike" territory. But that's such a shit name for such a bike, so I support the effort.

functional thread but seen through the lense of a business park worker who doesn't have to hide their browsing, but cant sneak off to ride their bike.

is a 47mm tyre 29er enough ? If its in mm I guess not?

if it's a knobbly the approval board would consider it,

it MUST have mud clearance tho, no missing crown or chainstay paint please.

it could apply for a "vibe check pass" where it does not fulfil the strict criteria but pass's the "vibe check", it would have to be blinged out tho

**n.b for flat bar cx owners, your bike will not pass the vibe check

the all city is fringe, but i did inspect it and it does say 700x50 on the tyre, meaning if the rider was enlightened they could use the superior 29x2.0

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On an unrelated note.

26er tho

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