Gravel / Gravé / Gnarmac / Groad / ATB

I'm not getting a FUCKING ehybrid.

@leggy_blonde but I already have one! (kinda).

Ok Retro MTB is is.

Retro MTB

"Off-road" bike decision tree:

Is it more important for you to have front suspension and flat bars than it is to have drop bars, a rigid fork, the option to choose road tyres?

• Yes → MTB
  
• No ↓
  
  

Do you hate water bottles, comfort, luggage, traction, not being soaked in mud/water and not going OTB downhill?

• Yes → CX race bike
  
• No → gravel bike
  
  

(Rigid MTB and flat bar gravel: too esoteric for mere logic)

what kind of MTB though? Progressive geo hardtail or XC race machine?

full sus are disqualified

traction

A 'crosser knows how to ride without it

Don’t matter but must be ti.

Do you wear lycra and bypass jumps, or wear flannel shirts and manual everywhere?

• Lycra → XC race machine
  
• Flannel shirt → crusty 15kg 29"×2.6" progressive hard tail
  

always lycra

ideally rapha or assos or combo of both

AND you send the jumps so....

Decision tree suggests I need to buy a cross bike. Ok so what are my canti frame 1x options?

Nice shot, that last one. Dedicated camera, or just a good phone?

I often take my Fujifilm XT20 out riding with me but just the phone today. It's new and frankly bonkers good for the price. Some Chinese one I'd never heard of before, a Realme 7 5g

Fujifilm XT20

Those are some large back pockets you have

With a pancake lens, it's small but I just carry it on a strap over my shoulder

Not mine:

If not too small ... This looks fun.
Just throw a tubeless clincher wheelset.

I know, I have the same camera, albeit not with pancake lens. Would not want to ride with it.

Ah well there you go. The 27mm 2.8 is great

Make it fixed brakeless and have a proper excuse for being slow.

just invented threaded drillium?

This is one of the best accounts of gravel biking that I have ever read:

https://yorkcyclecampaign.bike/2020/04/03/high-heeled-shoes-on-the-trans-pennine-trail/

I was feeling on top of the world as I entered Sale

Having grown up in Sale I can confidently say that they are the first person to ever have that reaction

The steps opposite the king's ransom used to be good for catching Pokémon.

Although my manager's son's 15 year old friend got stabbed for a bike the other week

Swings n Roundabouts.