• Not heard in the gold club, but in Gregg's, and it made me chuckle.

    Fairly dishevelled-looking chap ambles in, and asks the young lad behind the counter: 'What's the spiciest hot thing you sell?'

    Young 'un replies, utterly deadpan: 'That would probably be a cheese and onion pasty'.

    I couldn't decide if this was pro-level trolling, so kept my eye on him, but not even a flicker of mirth crossed his face.

    The original bloke also seemed unaware anything was up, replying - after a short pause - 'Ok, I'll have 2 of those and a tea, please.'

    I was creasing.

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