Does anyone know anything about gardening?

Rose hip, those things are fucking lethal. I nearly lost my face several times trying to get rid of one.

Yep. But with along with all the other security I have its just another nudge to make it harder than the neighbours houses.

Innit! Wanna plant some summer bulbs but ground temp still too cold I think

Frosts should be over with by Monday in the South East at least. This matters a lot to me as I have 4 tons of concrete to lay and the final 200 bricks....

Looking to get our old patio replaced and extended.
One guy who came to quote started spaffing on about porcelain patio tiles rather than sandstone.
Reckons they are maybe 10% more spendy, but much better*, just more difficult to lay (his problem not ours)
Anyone have experience, or wants to weigh in with an opinion?
We've asked for quotes with both tile types.

*not much to justify this statement, other than you can mop it, and it won't stain as easily as sandstone tiles

The guy behind has his patio / landing strip (huge) done in porcelain tiles, not staggered and set so they touch. All very on-trend I was told
Still looks like a patio to me...

My money is solidly on said landscaper having found porcelain at a mega discount, making it 20% cheaper than sandstone. There's a lot of those deals around at the moment. Porcelain can look good if laid really well, however, in my opinion which matters not at all, it should only be used with newish houses. Ideal for an execubox detached with fag paper clearance from the nearly identical execubox next door.

I had indian sandstone put down - feels great in the summer under bare feet but its stains easily with bbq and general kid food drops. The stains fade away on there own but don't look great. I wish I had just done the cheaper pavers that I had recently done the front of my property.

I think porcelain tiles generally looks pretty naff and don’t feel as nice.

Depends on the property but definitely doesn't have any rustic charm. I saw a guy's new porcelain patio out the back of his edwardian semi recently and it looked well out of place

Sandstone also easier to replace if a ham fisted tree surgeon bounces a log straight thru your patio...
My mate managed to trash a 6ft square of that fancy composite slate stuff that’s laid with gaps with drainage beneath... that wasn’t a good day...

That’s why I like garden with old York flags as if you smash anything it’s a quick trip to the nearest salvage to get a new one(or just look behind the shed for the handy stack that many old gardens seem to have)

Cheers for the suggestions. As much as I'd like prickly bushes they don't work in the space so I think I'll go with trellis.

Recommendations for a cheap lawn mower for this lawn?

Gravity defying obviously

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Try freecycle.org - that’s where I got my last mower. Anything will do really. Probably not a ride-on though.

I had sandstone put down about 10 years ago. It was an over order screw up from some other job so free to me, I didn't exactly choose it.

Hadn't been doing much in the garden last few years and the patio had become a kind of mottled grey / black thing with a couple of ants nests and some weeds growing through.

We had some fine Polish builders in doing a few things and they pressure washed and re-pointed it, and it's looking pretty much like new.

Yeah can confirm, but that’s mainly because our front garden is east facing and has no houses opposite so gets fantastic sunsets and sun all eve.
About to redo the front garden, tweak the bin storage, more plants, maybe a wee path. Liked the previous reference you shared, open to suggestions... going to make it an entertaining space but also want flowers.
Tempted with a palisades bench but would get nicked unlike my £20 IKEA one.

If you can accept a bench 2" lower than normal, set the bloody feet in concrete and watch the scrotes struggle!

What's the way to encourage this ivy across the wall? New shed will cover up the lower 2/3 eventually but I figure the dark green would be a good cover for behind it.

I'll get away with fixing a few things to the wall as I'm on good terms with the owner.

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Ha, that is an option, but think I want to be able to move it so would prob go chained to a wall option, with a decent chain.

The battery angle grinder has been invented, as many u-lock owners can testify.

What's the way to encourage this ivy across the wall?

Go, ivy, go!
Side-ways-grow!
Go, ivy go!

On a more serious note I have "helped" ivy grow around the inner sides of dormer windows by actually gaffer taping little branches in the right direction.
It did work.

Ha! Thanks. Gaffer tape huh? Is there anything it can't do?

I have a basic model Flymo that is free for collection. SE24

We had some gardeners come in a few years ago, and they butchers out Acers.

A bit of TLC, and more judicious pruning late last year, and it looks like they're recovering nicely.

(The red one is always later, as it's sheltered from the sun.)

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