Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

Jokes aside, I thought you worded the same 'not really seeing anti' sentiment I was feeling with that bike quite well.

I think the big problem with this is the wheels. They're chrome, they have a ton of spokes and they have enormous skinwall tires, all of which together makes them look like they're from a beach cruiser.

Also, Arundel bottle cages are the best and I use them, but there's definitely something regrettably NAHBSy about them.

Edit: I just noticed the white band on the seat stay not lining up with the other three. What a disaster.

White bar tape always immediately looks shit after first ride, and if it doesn't get ridden, it's straight to anti anyway.

Why is the RD cable routed along the top tube and the FD cable along the down tube? Now you have cables along almost every tube of the frame, this doesn’t provide a clean look.

Also, ditch the skinwall tires and replace crank with a black one to match the chainring and RD

Haha, the crank is the one part I'd keep. I'm trying to buy one on ebay, they're quite good value at the moment

My MTB has this. I think it's because the cable goes in at a different angle on a MTB derailleur to a road one and the cable route is better if it comes down the stay.

Have a look here. You can see where I've got a 105 road derailleur on it, the cable has a bit of an awkward route in whereas with a MTB derailleur it just wraps round neatly.

Not defendin jus sayin.

It's not a road bike is it? Fat tires are fine on a canti build. Quite like the colour/material combinations on this. Looks like something I could have built myself tbh.

Skinwall (yellow hue) works really well with the pink (to which it is a complementary colour).

Doesn't belong in anti imo. Maybe it's trying too hard but it's no dysfunctional wank.

Your RD cable runs quite a bit nicer, no awkward bent near the seat post and wiggling around the seat stay.

My old spec stumpjumper has both shifter cable running along the downtube while my old Univega mtb has both cables running along the top tube. I do not understand why each shifter cable runs along a different tube. Especially for a cx bike it would make sense to have both running along the top tube to protect them a bit from mud

Is it ugly? Yep.

Does it have pointless parts? Yep.

Does it look like a 90s Halfords special? Yep.

Execution? Not for a first offence.

The RD in the picture is an Ultegra one though.

Why is the RD cable routed along the top tube and the FD cable along the down tube?

Because the person commissioning the build was either ignorant or ill-advised. I'd have taken the opportunity to upgrade the traditional pulley used on CX bikes to operate a bottom-pull FD from a top tube cable run to full #tartmode with a full ceramic bearing and DLC coated pulley 🤑

In my ignorance I’ve never understood why people lay down big cash on a lightweight build and then attach a fuck off great pump (albeit tastefully colour matched) to the top tube?
How many punctures are they expecting? Or do they adjust pressure between tarmac and gravel? Or is it plain vanity?

How many punctures are they expecting?

Some. What disadvantage is there to carrying one? They are far superior to use than a mini pump and less wasteful than a co2 cannister when you do inevitably need to use it

lightweight build

Whatever else it is, it's clearly not supposed to be a lightweight build.

Sorry Luke

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This kinda goes hard tho 😳

Yeh, this slaps imo

I think this is fine and good apart from the salad angle.

saddle.

Kind of looks like a fruit salad

It looks like the owner is colour blind

Help needed in identifying this mystery frame please.

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Bianchi.

Strange question.

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That poor thing