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For finding an open ssh port on your network
for i in {1,10,20,30,40}; do sudo nmap 192.168.$i.* -p 22 --open; done
(Change the 1, 10 etc... to reflect what subnets you have)
For ports in use on localhost:
lsof -Pn +M -i4
also this, which I use to track down ports that are open & blocking something else :
netstat -anlp | grep -w "Proto\|LISTEN"
Yup. Are you trying from a LAN cabled machine on a different subnet? If so, try from another wifi device