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Gnome on top should have a red hat or nose that lights up when braking, holding a little scrolling LED sign saying 'Please Fuck Off'. It doesn't cost anything to be polite when you're giving instructions :)
Have you thought about volunteering for the Blood bike thing. I've considered it a few times but not come close to doing it. It seems like a decent reason to do some serious mileage though.
Solid thinking, but where does the gnome go?