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I think we've settled on a Brandywine Vibernum
https://springmeadownursery.com/plantfinder/brandywine-87740
Lots of seasonal changes and berries in the winter.
I wouldn’t worry about that, unless someone in your family is allergic or phobic—the bees will be after the flowers, not the people.
-25 is pretty parky… maybe look at whatever native plants tolerate that? The RHS has some suggestions.