• Get a water pistol. See a cat in your garden - zap the motherfucker. Soon they will learn to fear you.

    Either that or they will learn to come at night, mostly. In which case you need a motion sensor activated cat sprayer. Which is a thing that exists and is the only thing I have ever found effective in keeping cats out of the garden.

  • Nuke the cats from orbit

    We only have sub-deployed nukes. Will those do?

    We seem to have spent a lot of money, seems a waste not to use them.

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