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I had a flat mate at uni who wanted to make a curry and went to the effort of a trip to the Indian supermarket a few miles away for spices. After a couple of pints in the pub he invited a few mates around (the house, including me was already invited). Only he’d forgotten to get anything to put IN the curry. He came to the living room and asked if we minded if he raided the fridge for ingredients; about 5 mins later he came back and said we were on for dinner. Great.
An hour of drinking beer later he presented a broccoli, sausage and bacon vindaloo. We went back to the pub.
atz
Dogs
I lived with a chap who would make an omelette by putting whole eggs in a pyrex jug, add all the extra fillings (sliced peppers, mushrooms etc) until the jug was full to the brim THEN try to stir the eggs into the mixture by pushing the whole lot round in a circle as it slopped over the edge of the jug onto the countertop, and then he'd dump it all into a pan at once and stir it with a spatula to "make sure it cooks evenly" (he was definitely trying to cook an omelette not scrambled eggs, I checked). I have never seen a more miserable pile of watery almost-grey eggs as what he would plate up. the pyrex jug was often found with crusty egg dribbles down the side whenever I needed it for actual measuring of cooking ingredients.
I stopped having flatmates after him